| | HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello
and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital
Please select
from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for
you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If
you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the
Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen
carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.
If
you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press
9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-termmemory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If
you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
This
coming
week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by
remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you
care.
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| | Posted 11/26/2007 12:12 PM - 51 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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